I canít reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didnít realize my radar detector wasnít plugged in.

Arenít you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you mustíve been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!  Good job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

Bad cop! No donut!

Youíre not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesnít inspire confidence.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, Officer! Thatís terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over?  Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic.  Yes I know there is no other car around.  Thatís how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, ďHave I been drinking?Ē  Youíre the trained specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, is that a 9 mm? Thatís nothing compared to this here .44 magnum.



© Copyright 1997-2004 Ned Ritchie